The Right To Bare Arms

The relatively recent spate of shootings in public places, including schools, and the U.S. Senate’s rejection of even a completely watered down gun control measure, has caused heated debate (again) about the Second Amendment’s “right to bear arms” clause.  I know this because it’s my duty as a blog dog to observe and comment.  Now, I’m no expert on constitutional law, history and interpretation, but my dad thinks he is.  So I sat down with him this morning to interview him on the topic.

Flap:  Exactly how did the Second Amendment originate?

Dad:  Well, when Moses came down from Mt. Sinai, he carried 10 amendments..

F:  I think your confusing our Founding Fathers with Moses.

D:  Well, there was a’s an easy mistake.  Next question?

F:  Does every American have an unrestricted right to bear arms?

D:  I think it’s unreasonable to expect any American to suffer through a hot summer in long sleeves.

F:  I’m talking about the right to carry a firearm.  Do you believe that more restrictive gun control laws would violate the people’s right under the Second Amendment?

D:  I’m sorry.  I didn’t hear the question.  I was cleaning my .357 when it somehow went off.  You weren’t hit, were you?

F:  No, but I’m pretty sure I’ve lost 95% of my hearing, and – look!  We now have a skylight in the family room.  Do you agree with the NRA’s position on gun control?

D:  I don’t know its position on guns, but the National Rhubarb Association has done a damn good job keeping the vegetable out of the hands of those who are allergic to it or who would use it as a weapon.  It’s suffered a bad rap because people use the word ‘rhubarb’ to describe a fight.  But I know it as a peace loving vegetable.

F:  To preserve what little sanity I have left, let’s move on with one last question.  If your gun was sinking in quicksand at the same time that I was about to fall over a cliff, which one would you save?

D:  You, of course.  Then I’d throw you in the quicksand and tell you to fetch my gun.

F:  Well, I think your expertise has amazed us and given everyone a better understanding of what I experience on a daily basis.  You may be a few rounds short of a full magazine, but nobody can ever accuse you of  not consistently obfuscating every issue you address.

D:  Uh..thank you.

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